i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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