Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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