y did u give ur computer a hand job?
someone get that fucking seahorse.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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