so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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