my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
