I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
