sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
