how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
