Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
