it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
