Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
