Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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