You made me cry and you don't even care
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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