so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
