we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Green mimosas i think yes
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Randomize