I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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