i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
