dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
where does the pee come out of this thing
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
