mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
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