I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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