so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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