this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
