you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
