How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
