....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
