She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
