bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
BRING THE BAGELS
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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