I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
