i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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