WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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