And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
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