things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Just puked most of my soul out..
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