If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
