no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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