it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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