i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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