he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
