btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Sorry about my life...
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
