so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
