Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
You don't make any sense
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