I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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