when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Randomize
