theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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