Me too!
she looked like the before picture.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Let's get the cat blown out
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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