I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize