You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
