Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
