Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I just made out with a guy for $7.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
