I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
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