but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
