i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
