Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
