The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Randomize
