yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
