I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Randomize
