She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
