Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Randomize
