we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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