Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize