I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Randomize
