So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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