I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize