so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
