i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize